


i heard you were looking like the moon

by raven69



Series: just another cliché angsty love story [2]
Category: Mamamoo, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven69/pseuds/raven69
Summary: "I'm sorry.""I know."or where Bae Joohyun had a feeling her relationship with Moon Byulyi was doomed from the start and yet she walked right into it.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Series: just another cliché angsty love story [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906342
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	i heard you were looking like the moon

**Author's Note:**

> i decided to make a part 2 showing irene's side of the story because another 2 songs inspired me. the 2 songs are:  
> —"i heard you were looking lke the moon" by richard orofino  
> —"fallen" by gert taberner
> 
> also i'll probably make a third part with yongsun's point of view so yeah expect that i guess

Byulyi was looking like she did meth on a Thursday afternoon and stayed awake for 3 days straight when Joohyun first saw her walk into that nightclub.

Yet there's something about the way Byulyi looked that intrigued Joohyun. The way her silver disheveled hair glittered at the luminescent lights. The way her light blue blouse was ruffled and crinkled or the way she sauntered the room so miserably calm. Or perhaps it was the way she looked as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. The said lady just looked so vulnerable and so raw in that state that Joohyun felt this strange pull saying she should be closer to her and get to know her; or maybe spend the night with her if she had the chance because damn, the woman was fine, too.

If Joohyun was to describe the way Byulyi looked that night, "holy hell" would be the first thing that pops in her mind.

And so, the silver-haired woman caught the brunette's attention throughout her stay. Unknowingly, Joohyun's eyes would wander around and would always end up staring at that stupidly attractive but melancholic lady.

And when their eyes met fot several seconds but felt like an eternity, Joohyun just had to go and ask her for a dance (as an excuse to talk to her, of course). 

It was so out of character for Joohyun to be interested in someone at first glance. She also doesn't know why she was expecting some kind of weird spark everyone's been talking about whenever you dance with a particular stranger in a club but what she gets instead is sticky stares, sweaty palms and her foot getting stepped on every five seconds as if it was intentional. _At least she's a good dancer._

"You stepped on my foot."

"Oh shit, did I? I'm so sorry."

"It's okay."

Byulyi kept stumbling on her feet because she was feeling rather lightheaded the whole time. But Joohyun never paid that any mind. She didn't even regret asking Byulyi to dance with her, she was just so fascinated with this human being in front of her, despite her tipsy state, that she believes she won't regret it even more especially if the woman was sober.

The ashen-haired woman halted her movements as she sighed, "This was a terrible idea." She then looked around the dance floor, everyone doesn't seem to give a shit if she was dancing pretty horribly, they were just minding their own stupidity. A fast and upbeat song boomed inside the walls of the nightclub, making it a little bit harder to communicate.

Joohyun heard her clear the first time though and she just giggled, still amused for the nth time that night. "I understand you're a bit tipsy."

"A bit? Try a lot," Byulyi looked at her, at least tried to, a little worried. "I shouldn't have taken your offer, I'm sorry if I ruined your night."

"Don't be, I don't regret it," Joohyun bit her bottom lip and said, "You looked really cute though, when you made those mistakes."

"You think I'm cute?"

Byulyi became extremely aware of how her right hand was still on Joohyun's waist. And that Joohyun, for some reason, kept staring at her lips the whole time they were attempting to dance. Her heartbeat doubled as the realization hit her.

They locked eyes for the third time that night and Joohyun felt something but she isn't sure. It was probably her mind playing tricks with her but she swore she felt her heart skip a beat for a second there. _Is this the weird spark?_

Under the blue laserlights and the dim setting of the club, she took notice of how Byulyi's lashes were a little bit longer or how Byulyi's lips were quite cracked in closer inspection. Oh wait, why are their faces getting closer?

Byulyi leaned close to Joohyun's ear and whispered, "Wanna get out of here?"

Joohyun could smell the faint odor of alcohol that lingered Byulyi's breath but for some reason it didn't smell bad to her at all. Her eyes twinkled when she heard what Byulyi asked. Who was she to turn down such an opportunity to walk into this mysterious troubled woman's life? And so, with her heart and her intentions at plain sight, she gladly accepted the offer.

She just hope she made the right choice.

\--

A crash woke Joohyun up from her slumber.

She whined as the bright rays of sunlight coming from the window hitting her face added to an emerging headache. She shot up from her sleeping position to give the person who dare disturb her sleep a piece of her mind only to find a woman in her undies struggling to put on a pair of jeans. The crash apparently came from a nearby shelf—some books and empty cans now scattered on the floor.

"What the fuck."

Byulyi stopped from her jean-wearing endeavor and looked up at Joohyun like a deer caught in the headlights. "...Hi."

Memories from the night before came crashing down at Joohyun's mind. The kiss they shared in the cab, the gropes and full-on make-out session in the hallway and the hot sex. Dear god, the hot sex they had. Joohyun blushed at that.

Her headache doubled over, though.

Joohyun groaned and grabbed her head as if it would come off anytime, "Do you have some aspirin?"

"Oh, uh.. yeah sure, I'll fetch you some. Wait here," Byulyi said as she finished zipping up her pants and went outside the room to grab whatever she needed, her upper half only clad in a black bra.

_It's not like I'm going anywhere._ Joohyun thought as her eyes followed the younger woman out the bedroom door.

Joohyun realized that she wasn't wearing any clothes, not even some underwear. A flash of warmth spread to her cheeks when she realized she probably talked to Byulyi whilst completely naked; probably why the woman looked so flustered. They've definitely seen each other naked last night. Heck, they did even more but why were they so embarrassed? _This is ridiculous._

Byulyi came back with a glass of water in her left hand and a blue pill in the other than handed it to Joohyun, "Here you go."

Joohyun mumbled a thanks and swallowed the pill along with a few gulps of water. Actually, she chugged down the water as she realized how thirsty she was. She felt refreshened after that.

Byulyi was standing awkwardly on the side, watching her drink the rest of the water. She wasn't sure what to say to Joohyun. She doesn't know how to act. Is there something more for them or is this it? Do they go on separate ways after this or should they go out?

Joohyun noticed this. She stared back at Byulyi, "Why were you in such a rush?"

Byulyi snapped out of her thoughts. "I have work, actually. Like, right now." Her eyes wandered to the mess she made earlier when she bumped onto the shelf. She really needs to clean her room one of these days.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," Joohyun said as she fixed the blanket that was covering her torso. "Don't worry about me."

"Alright I guess.. I'll be leaving you here. Just lock the door when you go out," Byulyi said as she looked at the black digital clock hanging next to her bedroom door. The clock stated that she was almost 15 minutes later for work. "Shit," she said out loud as she rushed to grab a clean shirt in her large mahogany closet.

Joohyun watched as Byulyi scampered around the room and everywhere, grabbing things here and there, cursing a few times. Even so, with messed up hair and sort of sweaty skin, Joohyun thought she looked attractive like that. She, then, pictured Byulyi when they were in the moment last night. Joohyun lightly bit her bottom lip. She's never gonna forget that happened.

A small torn piece of paper was presented to Joohyun from Byulyi. She gently took it and saw a series of numbers written on it. She glanced up questioningly.

"That's my number. Call me when something comes up," Byulyi looked at Joohyun with uncertainty in her eyes, rubbing her nape. "Or if you want to.. go out sometimes, I guess?"

Joohyun's marveled at the offer, smiling with eagerness and vigor. "Sure, I'll hit you up."

Byulyi smiled back, a little timid, "Bye then."

"Bye."

And with that, Byulyi went out the door and Joohyun was still sat on the bed, clutching the sheets with her left hand. She was now alone in a stranger's apartment. A hot stranger, at that. Whom she had hot steaming sex with. And she also has said stranger's number. What did she do to be blessed like this?

Joohyun got up from the bed. Tried to find her discarded clothes from yesterday and was successful. As she finished dressing up, she noticed a picture frame that was among the mess that were spread on the floor. It was a picture of a woman.

Joohyun picked up the framed photograph. The woman was sat on a swing, hands on both of the swing chains, and was smiling brightly as she looked at the camera—as if the one taking the picture said a really corny but funny joke right before the shot was taken. The woman looked a lot like a pokemon that Joohyun knew with that smile of hers.

She looked at the rest of the pile on the floor and noticed there weren't other photos that Byulyi cared enough to put on the shelf. Why was this the only photo on the shelf? Who was this woman and what is she to Byulyi? Does Byulyi still care for this woman? Was Byulyi the one who took the photo?

Joohyun has many questions she wanted to ask Byulyi. The curiosity was then replaced with excitement when she remembered she has the silver-haired woman's number.

She really hoped she's making the right decision.

\--

"Don't open your eyes until I tell you to, okay?"

"What if my eyes itched and I had to open it?"

They're 4 months well-off in their very slow but steady relationship. There isn't any occasion, Byulyi just felt like surprising Joohyun, that's how awfully thoughtful she is. Just Byulyi being Byulyi.

"Just don't open them, Hyun-ah," Byulyi whined as she let go of Joohyun's eyes. She made her way towards the masterpiece that took her almost 3 hours to make. She fixed a misplaced pillow and put it carefully on top of a pile. She took one last look and said, "Alright you can open them."

With that, Joohyun blinked her eyes to adjust to the light. What she saw made her jaw drop.

It was a goddamn pillow fort. And she is in awe because it was built majestically. Pillows are piled one on top of the other strategically. Blankets are hung around so that it can form some type of a tent. Fairy lights are strewn all over the place, making the fort look warm and cozy.

"You... made this?" Joohyun asked, her voice cracking a little bit. Because damn, she was really close to crying.

"Yes I did. Since you mentioned how you've always wanted to have your own pillow fort when you were a kid. And so, well, I decided you deserve to experience it at least once in your lifetime," Byulyi bit her lip. "Do you like it?"

The older woman's eyes started to water. "Like it? Are you kidding me, I love it! I didn't even know you have that many pillows."

"Aw, are you crying? Come here," Byulyi chuckled as she noticed Joohyun tearing up. She wrapped her arms around the shorter woman's back, pulling her into a tight embrace with Joohyun's head pressed to her chest.

"This is all your fault," Joohyun wiped the sides of her eyes this time. She doesn't know if she's touched by the fact thay Byulyi remembered one small detail about her or the fact that Byulyi actually took the time to bring that childhood dream to life; or both. She's in her late 20's and she's getting emotional over a pillow fort. "Why'd you have to be so sweet? I hate you."

Byulyi smiled cheekily. "I know you don't. Wanna see what's inside?"

Joohyun only nodded at that as she let Byulyi lead her to the sturdy fort. When the two of them got inside, she didn't expect to be in awe for the second time that day. Countless stars glittered the inside of the pillow fort, a huge crescent moon in the middle of it. It was coming from a portable night sky projector that was situated beside a collection of stuffed animals and small pillows. The confines of the fort was spacious, enough for 4 people. Plus, it smelled of fresh comforting lavender; it wouldn't be a problem falling asleep here, Joohyun thinks as they sat on the soft fabric of a comforter.

A blanket was draped over Joohyun's head, covering her vision.

"Yah!"

Joohyun grabbed a handful of the blanket, about to take it off, only to be stopped by Byulyi's hands and a pair of lips meeting hers.

It was silent as the two shared a chaste kiss under the starry night sky in the comforts of their own fluffy wonderland. The sound of the ticking clock accompanied the minutes that passed as they stayed as is. Joohyun felt like flying and Byulyi was the cause of it.

Joohyun can feel her heart drumming in her ears as they parted. She locked eyes with Byulyi and for a second, she felt the love she was yearning after from the younger woman. But that one sweet second lasted and Byulyi was back with her guard up and complete resignation of her true emotions. Joohyun frowned. "...Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like.. you're not telling me things. I feel like most of the time you're not being honest with me about your feelings." Joohyun's gaze fell on her lap. "You're here but I can't see you."

Byulyi smiled sadly and stayed silent for a while, thinking of a way to go around this impromptu questioning and revelation of raw feelings. As expected of Joohyun to be awfully honest, it's a good thing most of the time but it's really shit if it hits right on the spot.

Joohyun took the silence as a means for her to continue. "You know you can tell me things you never say out loud. You can show me the parts you're not proud of." The older woman reached out to Byulyi's hands and held them tightly. It was a bit frigid and distant but she didn't mind. "Please allow me to be the girlfriend I should be."

The younger woman cupped Joohyun's left hand, placed it delicately on her right cheek and sighed softly, "I know. I'm sorry. I know I'm a bit held back with what I'm feeling.." She closed her eyes briefly. "I promise I'll work on that."

Joohyun leaned forward to press her forehead against Byulyi's. "That's all I'm asking for."

Under the artificial celestial sky, they stayed completely still. The one trying to reach out and the other one still holding back. And as the projected stars twinkled and shimmered, as long as it stays that way, Joohyun will always have hope in her heart that Byulyi will finally come to.

And until someone pulls the plug off, Joohyun will forever hope that someday the moon will finally follow her back home, just like when she dreamed of it as a kid.

\--

Joohyun was ecstatic that she got back from her business trip a day earlier. She can't wait to come back home, well, to Byulyi's apartment. They were sort of sharing a flat, with Joohyun owning a spare key. She was expecting Byulyi to be lazing around in the couch, playing unending rounds of Mario Kart as she was surrounded with soda cans and takeouts again, completely taken over by Sunday neurosis. She shook her head endearingly at the thought of it. Oh, how she missed Byulyi all those lonely nights at Hong Kong without her.

But what she wasn't expecting when she opened the door was to find some other woman in that old worn-out couch, kissing the girl she loved.

_Oh._

She doesn't know why she bolted the moment she saw that.. absurdity as if it stings her eyes the longer she gazed at it. She wasn't dreaming, was she? Should she turn back to check again if she wasn't imagining things? Was this all a joke? A prank Byulyi was trying to play on her knowing she'll be coming home early?

She swore she heard her name being called but she didn't turn back. Not even a bit of hesitance on her every step. She doesn't know where she's heading, she's just letting her feet take her to wherever. Said feet are aching for she was wearing sandals with almost 3-inches heels but she never stopped. Not until it stops hurting. And she's not pertaining to her feet.

Then it hit her.

The woman was the same woman she saw in that one photograph on the floor of Byulyi's room

Joohyun's pace gradually slowed down, bit by bit. She huffed and puffed, hunching forward and grabbing her shaking kneecaps. She was in the sidewalk of a somewhat busy street. She looked around her, noticing the people passing by giving her side glances but nonetheless going about their own businesses.

Joohyun stood there among the flock of people and yet she felt so alone. She was standing on a sidewalk, beside a street in a random city, in a country she grew up in, on a floating rock in space spinning 67,000 miles per hour around a giant fiery ball of gas in an infinite universe. It seems unforgiving that the world was still spinning when she was in such a turmoil. The sun was bright, the sky was blue, the grasses are green and Joohyun was hurting. A bad contrast, wasn't it?

She wants to cry out loud, perhaps for people to hear her voice.

But another voice was heard.

"Joohyun."

She looked behind her to find a sweaty Byulyi trying to catch her breath. The look in her eyes was undecipherable but Joohyun thinks somewhere in there she saw a handful of guilt and pure regret. What Byulyi's regretting, she doesn't know. But she knows—and fears—what's coming was the inevitable.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

For Joohyun, saying those two words felt like chewing on glass, making her mouth bleed, shards poking at her gums. Except she wasn't chewing, there's no blood and the shards were just the weight of those words.

"I'm really really sorry."

For Joohyun, hearing those words felt like a cold metal rod poking at her ears, it was unpleasant and bordering to pain. The pain travelled from her ear, to her mouth down to her heart.

And by the gods, how it fucking hurt.

She doesn't know why she still haven't cried yet. Her eyes are unexplicably dry and her throat wasn't closing up as she was expecting it to be. She can still utter the words; 'I'll get my things in your apartment' and an 'It's okay' along the lines.

Everything after that was just a blur for Joohyun. Every word or excuse that fell out of Byulyi's mouth were just mindless ringing in her ears. The blazing summer sun was making her blouse cling to her backside and her smooth but bristly hair drenched in sweat stayed glued to her neck. People are still passing by her, maybe occasionally wondering why she and Byulyi wer standing there in the middle of the sidewalk but she didn't care.

All Joohyun wanted to do was go to bed, sleep this off and then wake up from this oddly sunny nightmare. She wanted to pretend this never happened. She hopes this never happened. There it was. Hope. The damned hope that was still inside her. That damned hope that made her stay. That damned hope that tried to make it work but where did it lead her? Nowhere. She was a victim in all this mess. She wants to be mad at Byulyi but how could she when she loved the woman so damn much?

"It's her, isn't it?" Joohyun didn't realize she spoke out loud until she did.

"What?"

"It's her. The woman you love."

A car honked from the distance.

"Yes."

A round of laughter echoed the street.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

A door to a cafe opened and closed.

"I'll be okay."

**Author's Note:**

> pain. just pain.


End file.
